Love is Our Gift

Some of my greatest joys and some of my greatest sorrows have occurred around the holidays. Or maybe it’s that I am more aware the changeability of life this time of the year. We’re supposed to be cookie-baking, scarf-making souls brimming with holiday spirit, right? Perhaps, that’s the problem: ‘the suppose to be’s.’ I have always been suspicious of the ‘suppose to be’s.’ Perhaps, it’s because when I was 16 my father had a heart attack two days before Christmas. I learned life doesn’t give you the break the calendar promises. It marches on regardless of the plans we make. Still, because of my dad’s health emergency, I also learned early on that all of the twinkling lights and brightly-wrapped gifts and overly-zealous Christmas carols are merely the trimmings and trappings of love—loving our faith, our friends, our family, our pets, our world, ourselves. I fell in love with my husband during Christmas break from college, over a shared slice of pizza at the Seattle Center (that’s one for the greatest joys column).

This year, life dealt me a blow a few days before Christmas. We had to say goodbye to our beloved 17-year-old cat, Roo, who was in the final stages of kidney disease. No cat ever wanted to be snuggled as much as this little guy, so much so we nicknamed him “the love machine.”  And although my heart is breaking, it somehow seems fitting to part with my sweet Roo at this time of the year.

Right now, I am not worried about what I’m ‘supposed to be’ doing to get ready for Christmas. I’m mourning the loss of my pet, and my friends and family understand. Gathering with them over the holidays at my parents’ home (two heart operations later, my dad is 80 years old, and still with us) will boost my spirits and help me through this difficult hour. That’s what love can do. We may pause to celebrate it now, but it binds us every day of the year.